Meditation: FREE “Happiness”… any Takers?

A World of Anxiety

Since the hysteria around COVID-19 has heightened and everybody is stuck in “self -quarantine”, “shelter-in-place”, or “social distancing” mode (depending on your flavor) – stress, anxiety and worries about mental health are buzzing. Let’s be honest… have you lost your mind a little bit in the past week or two? Who knew this is what it would take to really put mental health on the map?

The silver lining? Some new free time…

Given the seemingly growing sanity problem…my opinion is the best way to use any new free time is to learn to meditate – if you haven’t already. After all, it’s free, it feels great and it’s life changing – at least it was for me. And it takes as little as 2-3 minutes a day.

You Don’t Need to be a Monk to Meditate

Meditating and wellness are IN right now. Did you know that meditation company Calm is a unicorn or that Headspace just raised 93mm in capital? Personally, I think it’s here to stay. I couldn’t think of a WORSE time to withdraw investment in meditation or wellness programs if I ran a business. It’s insanely important for people, businesses and executives to keep a level head, stay balanced, and be happy with what they have – and I mean down to the toilet paper (can you believe the hysteria here?!) & sweet potatoes in storage. Considering sitting in a chair is about all you’ll have right now (OK fine… work, Netflix, Amazon Prime, blah blah), you might want to find a new way to enjoy it! Why not learn something that’s scientifically proven to reduce stress, improve happiness, kindness, focus and even physical health like blood pressure.

But what IS meditation anyway? I’ll be honest. Historically, I thought it was so weird. People sitting with legs crossed, thumbs & pointer fingers touching, humming sounds. Sitting in silence for minutes and hours. Did you know Tibetan Monks do this for up to 8 hours a day?! Yikes. Can you imagine not having your cell phone for 8 hours? Before I started, it all just seemed like it wasn’t meant for me. It seemed too spiritual or “other worldly.” I just didn’t get it. Frankly, I didn’t know who did.

Little did I know – you didn’t need to be a monk to meditate. You could be on a commuter train, subway, in a taxi, on an airplane, on your couch, on your porch – you could be anyone, anywhere. Even Sir Paul McCartney and Madonna meditate. I just saw today that Miley Cyrus even meditates..

Even you, can meditate.

Would you buy total happiness for $100?

During a rough patch a couple years ago where my mind was all over the place, I was doing a good deal of reading around presence, wellness, contentment, personal development, etc. Meditation seemed to be a chapter everywhere. Couldn’t get away from it! Still not having started doing it, what really got me going was a chat with a colleague at IBM (Thanks Dustin!). At some point, he mentioned that he used an app called Headspace to learn to meditate, settle the mind, etc. So I downloaded it for free for 30 days. Yikes. Experiment begins!

At the time, I was working from home, commuting to Manhattan to see clients. I had the luxury of a fully flexible schedule – so it was a little easier to fit it in. Once Vanessa left for the day (because I obviously didn’t want anybody to see me), I clicked “Basics 1: Day 1” (of a 10-day series). It started with some sort of 1-minute animation to get the juices flowing. Then it asked if I wanted to do the 3, 5 or 10-minute meditation. Considering I barely had enough time to blow my nose, eat breakfast, or look at the weather – I chose the 3-minute one.

Besides feeling my mind going 100mph, blood rushing, feelings of impatience and insecurity – the time flew by! So I came back, did it the next day. Then another. I mean, how could I resist when I was getting daily “you did it!” badges? (funny how those things actually make you feel good about yourself..) After 10 days, I felt great. I did Basics 2 & 3. I felt like a new person – with a lot of work to go!

I was then faced with a decision. Headspace Pro for $100 or Headspace No (get it?). I mean, was my happiness worth $100? So I did what any smart person did & called the guy that told me about it in the first place! .. “Dustin – what do you think? I’m loving Headspace but not sure it’s worth $100 to continue on.” His reply, “I don’t know about you, but $100 for a little peace of mind and happiness doesn’t sound that bad. Right?”

So – I bought Headspace Pro.

The Results: Success

I’m a lifer now. I use Calm and Headspace, or just my mind if my phone’s not around. For those wondering what to expect if you start meditating, here are my personal findings. If you want clinical validation / evidence – I’m not here for that. But you can go online or you can peak at some of the things Headspace has done.

My findings:

Overall Happiness & Peace of Mind – Not much else to say. I’m at about a 8.5/10 in terms of total contentment with my life & where it’s going. Probably at about a 5/10 when I started. Not a bad bump, ay? Can’t wait to to crush the rest.
Settling my Mind on Call – Many minds are completely unsettled, much like what I imagine the chaos on the Autobahn (or I-95) to be. Meditation helped me learn to to manage my emotions rather than let my emotions control me. It’s not easy and I’m still practicing. Work on it.
Focus, Clarity, Priority and Productivity – By managing emotions and reactions, and just feeling more comfortable with myself, I’ve been able to think more clearly about what needs to get done, in what order, by when, and how to do it. Things get done. I’ve been crushing most goals I make for myself at work & at home.
Success – When I realized that the most important part of success for me was being happier with myself, and did it, everything else was easier and seemed to come naturally. If you seek success in the external / material things or specific moments in life, you’ll never truly find it. It has to start from within. The rest is gravy.
Reduced Anxiety – I used to be anxious about tons of things. Little things, big things, you name it. Ever play golf with me? But I’ve noticed a huge change (and my handicap is lower 😊). Not quite “calm as a cucumber”, but solid (not sure what makes cucumbers calm anyway..).
Be Present, Mindful and Find Joy in ALL Moments – Maybe not all, but most. As I wrote in Enough is Enough, don’t let the little things, or things that don’t seem that important in life, pass you by without enjoying them. Don’t take things for granted – live them. Live them all.
Sleeping Better – It’s unreal. My wife & I use Calm’s “Sleep Meditations” several nights a week. It really makes a difference in sleep quality & falling asleep. I mean, I can probably fall asleep upside down on a staircase if I had to… but for those that struggle – it will help.
I’m More Spiritual – Listen, spiritual means different things to different people. It doesn’t have to mean religious, but it can. I’ve been meaning to ‘be more religious’ (though admittedly I don’t go to church as often as I probably should), but I’ve been enjoying parlaying a 10-minute meditation with a short prayer afterwards. It makes me feel great about the day.
Physical Health – I think so anyway. One day, I’ll bore everybody with my non-scientific overview of how better mental health will prevent physical health problems. Plenty of folks working on this now. I see the correlation as huge. Further, my theory is – if we should see a Physician once a year for a “physical”, why not see a Therapist for a “mental”?

Things to Keep In Mind…

Now before you go on your way conquering your meditation journey using Calm or Headspace (+ several others out there) – I wanted to include a couple other thoughts to toss in the back pocket. It may feel like a bit of a rollercoaster as you learn to do it, but just be patient. You’ll feel like a million dollars by the time Coronavirus is history.

Use an App – I mean, I’ve already said this. Download an app. Both Headspace & Calm have launched free programs for people specific to the Coronavirus outbreak. They’re amazing tools. Headspace Pro is also free if you’re in Healthcare.
Start with Short Sessions – In order to avoid burnout from doing too much too soon, my suggestion is to start small – like 3 minutes per day, 4-5 days a week. Think about it like a gym. If you haven’t worked out in a year, how far are you going to get doing 60 minute workouts 7 straight days with maximum weight?
Don’t Give Up! – Feel free to call me if it sucks. No doubt this is going to be a challenge. Your brain is going to feel twisted, lost & scattered at times. It’s ok – don’t kill yourself or feel frustrated. Just keep going, 3 minutes a day – that’s it. Just like a physical workout, when it’s over you’ll feel great.
Some Days are Harder than Others – This is normal. Don’t think you’re doing something wrong when you had a great meditation for 2 days and today’s is tougher and your mind is racing. Let it pass.
Don’t Sweat It when you get Distracted – You WILL get distracted. Brains wander. Just accept it & move on. Don’t get mad at yourself. Let the challenge in your mind fizzle out & don’t give it the credit it wants. Listen to the coach.
Buddy System – If you have a spouse or partner to do it with, it takes some of the bite off. You can both be weird together! My dog even does it with me (at least it looks like he does 😊).
Don’t Stop When You Feel Better – This is a bigger theme beyond just meditating. But bottom line, don’t stop doing the good things you did to help you get to where you are. Keep it going, even after it’s working for a month or two. It’s become like a daily vitamin to me.
Do It Wherever & Whenever You Want – You can literally do it anywhere. I mean, if you’re worried about looking weird, do it on the subway or train. People will think you’re just sleeping (and no, you don’t have to put your fingers together..).
The More Anxious (or busy) You Are, the More Important It Is – When it seems almost impossible to fit it in – that’s when you need to do it. Trust me, it works. Big meeting, interview, etc. – grab 3 minutes and take some breaths. It’s ok.

So what is Happiness Worth to You?

Listen – at the end of the day, you can do one of two things with your time at home now as the world tries to sort through this terrible phenomenon. You can do something good for yourself or you can waste away on the couch depressed that you haven’t done anything for yourself.

I’m also happy to talk to anybody about their concerns, frustrations, or experience with meditation. I’m writing this article under the impression that most of the world still hasn’t “found meditation”. But for me, it’s helped immensely. I’m happier than I’ve been in ages, and I owe a lot of credit to how meditation has positively impacted my health, mentally – and I think – physically.

And let’s face it, material things only take us so far in life. Why not actually be happy (at least with yourself). It only costs you $0 and you can get it today, when it matters most.

Regards,

Jeremy