Enjoy the Path, Not the Destination

More Than Money

In 2014, I remember a remarkably strong pacing session. Who doesn’t love a good pace. There I was, contemplating how to get everything I wanted… yesterday. Being in my late 20’s, stupid, single – naturally the main component to this unfulfilled desire was MONEY. I wanted money & wealth so bad because I wanted to buy…oh wait. I had no freaking clue what I wanted. It was just mindless, focus-less, material wanting with no reasoning or goal. The only thing for certain was I wanted it yesterday.

In breaking this common challenge down, what I wanted consisted of the idea of having everything I could possibly dream of (mostly unidentified material stuff) and a “stamp of success”, almost an external approval. Probably more image or jealousy driven than anything. But that single pronged, financially motivated, non-existent, future “stamp of success” was a brutal fraud.

While it took me a bit more time to realize that one’s goal in life should definitely NOT be money & “stuff”, on this day, however, I realized something even more critical.

During a brainstorming session with my mentor about negotiation strategies to (wait for it…) make more money / equity from my current company – he said something that rings almost daily for me & essentially drives everything I do.

“You’ve got to enjoy the road and not the destination.” You’ve heard this a million times before, seen it on t-shirts, in movies, etc. and may have taken those words for granted. Here are some thoughts on what this REALLY means.

Clarity + Fulfillment = YOUR Success

Rather than living the idea of “the road not the destination” as a guiding principle, we choose to live in anxiety, stress & completely outside the present moment Constantly waiting for what other people have. The good news is it doesn’t have to be this way.

I see this principle broken down into 2 main components.

True CLARITY about what we’re seeking.
Deep FULFILLMENT throughout the quest for what we seek.

Let’s break it down.

Clarity

Money always gets all the press. But let me ask you this. For how long after you get the long awaited bonus or salary increase do you still feel high, excited and happy? For me, it’s a quick bite out, a couple tasty cocktails and by the time I wake up I’m back to the drawing board – as if yesterday didn’t happen. By now, the cash is already spoken for and we’re back to wanting the next batch of green.

While you fight for the material things, what about the undiscussed, unsung heroes of the “what we seek” equation”?

For example, do you feel fulfilled in life? Are you happy or excited when you wake up, get to the office or get home at night? Do you really feel a deep sense of satisfaction or temporary enjoyment?

As I discuss in When Covid is Over, What Life Do You Want to Live?, you must get your priorities straight. I believe money gets all the press because a) our lives erroneously revolve around work and b) we work for money to live. But all the money and the biggest house in the world will be meaningless if you can’t relax, smile & truly enjoy moments of happiness throughout.

Fulfillment

At this very moment, do you feel relieved of any & all tension, stress, anxiety or preoccupation with something outside of your control? Do you feel at ease with your external environment & content with your level of internal fulfillment with the status of your life, accomplishments and where you’re headed next? Regardless of whether you’re smiling at this very moment, do you really feel happy? How about last week? Last few months?

6 years ago, I was probably 20% “deeply fulfilled”, leaving the other 80% up for grabs. At the mercy of the world’s stressors, I was basically lost, empty, unfulfilled and generally unhappy with where I was & where I was going.

Since then, my biggest goal in life was to feel happy, content and fulfilled as close to 100% of the time as possible, across ALL facets of life.

And I’d be willing to go out on a limb & ask why doesn’t everybody have this goal?

The things you do in life, the people you find & love, the company you work for, the place you live. If you’re not enjoying each of these close to 100% of the time you are not maximizing your fulfillment. Instead, time is wasted, unenjoyed, fruitless, relationships are negatively impacted and you stagnantly wait as the world pushes ahead.

How to Make a “Bonus” Actually a Bonus

If you, like I felt, desire this altered future state of happiness – it’s there for you as distant as it feels.

Don’t expect it tomorrow, but here are a few guiding thoughts to help you deeply enjoy the road vs the destination. Not only will you achieve more financial gain than ever before, but it will truly feel like a “bonus.”

Realization – Owe everything to the moment you realized that you were out of balance & decided to fix it.
Mindset & Determination – “An object at rest stays at rest … unless acted upon by an outside force”. You’ll be unable to take the path to enjoying the path without changing the way you think. Do you want “100%” enough that you’re willing to do what it takes to get it?
Action – Right now, write 3 negative things in your mind that you want to change & google “Best books on ____”. Start there. Read “happiness” books (really, it’s ok… I did it too). Be ruthless. Set monthly goals. Start small & expand. Turn off the phone, take a walk, go for a jog – reprioritize a bit. For inspiration, read Goals: New Year’s Resolutions Are a Scam.
Talk – Talk to friends, family & loved ones about what you’re after and the changes you’re making. Talk especially when it feels hardest. And mark my words, “psychology physicals” will be as mainstream as the “annual physical” in 10 years. Keeping things bottled up is a means to an end. And please don’t ask / listen to the internet on how to fix your problems.
Patience – This is the money shot. This stuff won’t change overnight – believe me. But each month, celebrate the book you read and the changes you made, and the steps you took to improving. It will compound year by year. At the end of the year, I guarantee you’ll be looking back at your best year ever.

Ride On

I once felt a time where minute by minute, day by day, time dragged on and I never felt satisfaction. Whether it was called poor prioritization, lack of balance, depression – I don’t know. But it sucked royally and I didn’t want it anymore. In the words of my nephew/Godson Nolan a while back… “I don’t want to!”

If you’re able to enjoy the road vs. the destination – memories will be more vivid, good times will last longer and setbacks will be handled with total control. Every day will be looked back on with gratitude & achievement.